COFFEE AND CONVERSATIONS: Why I’ve Been Missing From the Blog

If you haven’t noticed, things have been pretty quiet here on the blog for the last few months. We’ve posted for blog tours that we had signed up for, but other than that, it’s been a bit non existent. I thought I’d take the time today, to fill you in a bit on what’s been going on in my life, and why I’ve been absent.

I guess, for me, it starts back towards the end of May. It was at that time that we received word that my uncles cancer had metastasized from his colon to his brain and that there was no longer any treatment that they would be able to give him. This was devastating for a number of reasons, but add in the fact that these were the cousins and the family that I had practically lived with growing up, it made it even worse. Our two families are extremely close, and we spent our summers at their house, our moms hanging out talking, while we swam in their pool, played Barbies in their crawl space, and watched the Ninja Turtle Movies so much that we broke the VHS tapes. Some of my best memories growing up are completely intertwined with their family, and vice versa.

For Memorial Day, we all got together, had a picnic and celebrated my cousin’s step daughter’s high school graduation. My uncle was doing well, sitting in his recliner, talking to everyone, and eating what little food his stomach could handle. It was a great day. My kids swam with their cousins, I talked and laughed with my aunt and her children, and we created loving memories with my uncle. Never would I have thought as I hugged everyone goodbye, that I would be back the next weekend to say my final goodbyes. We lost my uncle at the beginning of June, a little less than two weeks after Memorial Day. Death is never pleasant, and this was, and still is, rough for my family.

A few weeks after the funeral for my uncle, I was back folding laundry and my husband was in the garage working on our car. All three kids were in the living room, gathering their books for the library, when my daughter came back to my room to tell me something was wrong with my youngest son. I ran into the living room to find him non responsive, and not breathing. We immediately called 911 while my husband started CPR. After what felt like hours, but was only minutes, Stephen threw up and began breathing on his own again. By the time the paramedics arrived, he was back to normal, albeit very quiet and shaken up. The paramedics determined he had choked on some vomit that was caused by a severe coughing fit (my boys have very sensitive gag reflexes and coughing fits often result in more than just a few coughs). The didn’t see the need to take him to the ER, and when they called the hospital, they said that if Stephen was responsive and all his vitals looked ok, then they did not need to see him.

Despite the fact that he seemed ok, my intuition told me that it was something more, and my husband made the comment that it almost looked like he was having a seizure. With everything that happened, I had laser eyes on him for the next few days, and I noticed more than once times when it just seemed like he was there one minute, and then gone for a few seconds the next. I took him into our pediatrician and who referred me to our local children’s hospital to consult with a neurologist. Our pediatrician did not find anything wrong with him, but for my peace of mind, thought it would be best to get the opinion of someone who specialized in the brain and brain disorders. I scheduled his appointment that afternoon and the soonest they could see him was over a month away, and wouldn’t occur until after I went to Texas for Book Bonanza. To say I was stressed about everything was an understatement.

On the morning of July 15, I was still sleeping when my cell phone started ringing. Drowsily, I looked at it, and saw that it was the daycare calling me. My husband leaves much earlier than I start work, and had dropped Stephen off an hour or so earlier. I picked up, and the head of the daycare informed me that Stephen had had a seizure and they had called 911. He had fallen and hit his head when seizing, and it lasted over a minute. I immediately called my husband, both grandmas, and headed to the hospital as soon as my MIL was able to get to the house to watch my oldest two children. To say I was terrified was an understatement. Upon arriving to the hospital, we learned more about his seizure, he was sent for a CT to check for head injury (which came back clear), and then we were told they would transfer him to the children’s hospital. I spent the next several days at the hospital where they ran several tests, and eventually diagnosed him with epilepsy. Hence started a roller coaster of getting him on the right meds, with a few more calls to 911, and several doctors visits. Thankfully, he’s been stable for a few months now, but I still worry about him every single day, and there are some nights when I don’t sleep because the scenarios that go through my head are absolutely terrifying to think about. I spend those nights, in his room, constantly checking on him to make sure he’s still breathing and all is well. It’s exhausting, and his neurologist told me that the only thing that will help that is time. He’s absolutely fantastic and listens to all my questions and concerns and doesn’t make light of my worries and anxiety. My own doctor has worked on adjusting my meds to help my anxiety, and things are getting better. But honestly, I still live in fear most of the time of something happening.

In August, I went to Book Bonanza with Charli which was both thrilling and exhausting. I met so many phenomenal authors and came home with more books than I even imagined was possible. I ended up paying overages on my luggage just to get them all home, because I didn’t ship enough back to Ohio with the Bookworm Box. It was awful trying to get the bags back into my car at the airport, but I managed and I was so excited once all my book babies were home. Unfortunately, shortly after coming home from Texas, I received a call from my mom that my great aunt, the one remaining sibling of my Grandmother’s had passed away. She was my mom’s godmother, and my mom spoke with her every single week, so her death was another blow to the family.

At the same time, football season started and we spent almost every Friday night and Saturday morning at football games, in addition to just the normal chores of every day life. Honestly, by that point, I was so burned out, I didn’t have the time nor the energy to blog. But I missed it horribly, and I was still reading. Throughout the summer months, I read some pretty incredible reads, but I cut down on all my ARCS, and I’ve read very few new releases. I have been tackling more books from my own shelves though!

My three kids are all now back in school, and Stephen’s epilepsy is evened out, so I finally feel like I can get back into blogging . I really hope that I never go through another summer like I did this year, but it has made me a stronger person. Hopefully you’ll be seeing more of me around, and thank you for sticking around even when the posting was sporadic!!

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